Dealing with the fallout of a divorce can be overwhelming and difficult to cope with. When there are kids involved, things are likely to get even more complicated. Considering many divorces do not end amicably, it can be frustrating to develop a co-parenting schedule and custody agreement with someone you have fallen out of love with. Trying to overcome combative co-parenting is no easy task, but a Kansas City divorce lawyer can help you figure out some steps you can take.

Child Custody in Kansas

Determining a custody agreement with a combative ex-spouse can be one of the most difficult and frustrating situations to figure out. Above all, you should be there for your children and ensure they do not get caught up in the middle of your marital strife, which is never easy to pull off.

When your ex-spouse refuses to cooperate and would rather make life hard for you, it’s understandable to start feeling resentful and angry. Remaining calm is vital to an amicable solution.

There are two main custody agreements that the Kansas court system will provide in the wake of your divorce. Both forms of custody can be beneficial in their own ways, and the court will analyze your specific situation to make the determination that will benefit your children the most:

  • Joint Legal Custody: When the court orders joint legal custody, both parents are given equal rights to make decisions about their child’s wellbeing. You and your ex-spouse will need to abide by a parenting plan and try your hardest to remain civil for the sake of your child. You don’t necessarily have to be nice, but you should try to be tolerant.
  • Sole Legal Custody: When the court orders sole legal custody, only one of the parents is granted full parental rights over the child’s wellbeing. The court has decided that giving both parents equal access to the child would not be in the child’s interest. This could be done for many different reasons, and not all of them mean the non-custodial parent is a bad person.

Important Tips for Dealing With a Combative Co-Parent

Co-parenting isn’t easy, especially if there is a court-ordered parenting plan in place that the other parent refuses to abide by, regardless of their reasoning. Doing this could land the parent in legal trouble, as the court may see it as an intentional violation. It is important, for the sake of your children’s upbringing, that you figure out how to deal with the other parent and avoid friction. Here are some tips you can use to deal with a combative co-parent:

  • Be Logical: When the other parent does not get their way, they may try to manipulate you with personal attacks, emotional arguments, and possibly even threats of violence or legal action. There’s no way you can control their actions or the things they say, but you can choose how to respond to them. Use logical arguments, and do not engage when they are obviously trying to provoke you into reacting emotionally.
  • Let It Go: You are not married to this person anymore. Always keep that in mind. It is not up to you to succumb to personal attacks from somebody you no longer view as your significant other. Try to remember they are being combative because they are trying to regain some semblance of control over you that they once had. If you don’t react to their attacks, they have no power.
  • Simply Business: You may want to look at your current relationship with your ex as a business relationship as opposed to a personal one. Even if you cannot stand to be in the same room as them, you can remain civil for the sake of the children. If you are unable to look at each other without screaming, you may want to have all communication through texts or email until you can both start distancing yourselves from the divorce.

FAQs

Q: Who Will Get Custody of the Child After Divorce?

A: Ultimately, it is the Kansas court system that will decide who gets primary custody of your child. If you and your spouse can work out a custody agreement amicably, the court will certainly take that into consideration. The court is legally and morally required to do whatever is right for the child. They will consider the parents’ desires, the child’s adjustment to a new normal, and, if the child is old enough, their own choice.

Q: Can a Parent Refuse Visitation Rights?

A: Yes, the custodial parent can refuse to allow the non-custodial parent’s visitation rights, but the court can also take action to enforce those rights. If the custodial parent denies visitation without a court order to back them up, the court can hold them in contempt. If you have a problem with the other parent’s visitation rights, you should speak to the court before blocking the other parent from seeing the children.

Q: Can My Child Choose Which Parent to Live With?

A: When the court determines the custody arrangement between you and your ex-spouse, the child’s desires will be considered if they are old enough to make informed decisions. Generally, if the child is old enough to realize what is happening, the court considers their opinion. The court will decide on this on a case-by-case basis.

Q: What Is a Parenting Plan?

A: A parenting plan is a document that details the legal custody of your child and how each parent will provide for that child going forward as a divorced couple. It will include a schedule that each parent should abide by, procedures for dealing with disputes as they arise, and even plans for parenting time in the event that one spouse is active military. The court will sign off on this plan.

Reach Out to a Lawyer Today

Dealing with a combative co-parent is not easy. There are times when it can feel enraging to handle them, knowing they’re just trying to get a rise out of you. You may want to consult with an experienced divorce lawyer to learn about what you can do to make things easier for yourself and your children. The legal team at Stange Law Firm can help you. Contact us to schedule a consultation.