While a divorce can be difficult on the spouses going through it, it can be equally hard, if not harder, on your children. Sometimes, children can tell that something bad is happening between their parents. When children are a factor in your relationship, you need to figure out a way to proceed that hurts them the least. Sometimes, divorce can be a better option for your children than an unhappy marriage.
Why Divorce Can Be a Better Option
Many people in unsustainable marriages may be under the impression that divorce leads to a broken home for their children. This can result in a difficult, emotionally negligent upbringing for their children, who then grow up with a skewed view of relationships and love. It is ultimately up to the divorced spouses to develop a strong, solid co-parenting relationship where the child receives equal love from both parents.
In many cases, staying together solely for the sake of your children can foster resentment, anger, unhappiness, and deterioration, all of which children can pick up on. By trying to force a stable home life, you may end up creating more strife for your children and causing the very instability you feared from a divorce.
Your children may be much better off with parents who realized their marriage was over, took the proper steps to end it, and are now in a much better place to focus on being parents. They can benefit from a more positive environment and considerably less stress. Ultimately, it is up to you and your spouse to do what you feel is the right option for your family. If that decision is divorce, you should speak with an experienced divorce lawyer to see what your options are.
Risks of Staying Together for Your Children
Deciding to stay together for the sake of your children can be a risky decision loaded with potential negative impacts. If you know that you are no longer compatible with your spouse and, if there were no children, you would divorce them without question, the environment you may be fostering for your family may not be a healthy one. Here are some risks to consider if you decide that staying together for your children’s sake is the only option for you:
- Building Alliances: When you are in a home with people who resent one another, alliances can start to form. The environment begins to take on an “us vs. them” mentality that can be hard to escape. Parents may not do a great job of hiding their contempt for one another when they are in an unhappy marriage.
You may start to feel the need to win your kids over and alienate them from the other parent using praise, gifts, or even, in the worst situations, threats. This can create a dysfunctional dynamic that could make your children hate the other parent unjustly or even start to resent you for creating such a situation in the first place. You don’t want your kids to feel like they need to choose between their parents.
- Unhealthy Relationships: Children often look to their parents as their first model of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. This can help prepare them later in life when they start forming relationships of their own. By staying in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children, you may be inadvertently creating a poor model of a relationship for your children to emulate later.
Children who frequently witness conflict, fights, and destructive habits in their parents’ marriage may fail to learn the appropriate way to handle conflict in their own relationships. It can create feelings of inadequacy, violent behaviors, and poor communication skills. You should make sure your children create solid relationships that reinforce healthy feelings in life.
FAQs
Q: How Does Adultery Affect a Divorce in Missouri?
A: From a legal standpoint, adultery should not affect the outcome of the divorce at all since Missouri is a no-fault divorce state. A judge is not required to amend the petition due to adultery or grant a divorce on fault-based grounds. Still, adultery can put quite a strain on a marriage and foster feelings of resentment, pain, rage, and betrayal. These feelings can lead to a desire to contest a divorce and try to leave the cheating spouse with nothing.
Q: How Is Child Custody Decided in a Divorce in Missouri?
A: Ideally, you and your spouse will work out an agreement on child custody prior to filing your divorce petition. The court will look over your agreement and either approve or deny it. However, not every marriage ends so amicably, and deciding on child custody may be just one of many difficult decisions to work on together. Ultimately, the court will decide on a custody arrangement that is beneficial to your children.
Q: What Is the Difference Between a Contested and Uncontested Divorce?
A: The primary difference between a contested and uncontested divorce is what’s being fought over. There are no disputes in an uncontested divorce. Both parties are in agreement about the divorce and everything included in the petition, such as child custody, alimony, and asset division. Uncontested divorces are much less expensive and time-consuming. Contested divorces are the opposite. Parties cannot agree on certain aspects of the divorce, and it can take longer.
Q: Will My Divorce Case Go to Trial?
A: It’s difficult to determine if a case will go to trial until negotiations have started. Generally, most uncontested divorces do not have to go to trial. Many things can be decided outside of court and in an amicable way. When parties fail to agree on terms in a contested divorce, there is a good chance that the case could go to trial. A trial is usually the last resort if the couple is unable to reach terms in the petition.
Reach Out Today
Sometimes, a divorce is the only thing you can do to ensure your kids grow up in a positive environment. The legal team at Stange Law Firm can help you decide on your optimal course of action. Reach out today to learn more about how we can help.
