How should I mentally prepare for collaborative divorce?

Collaborative divorce is not the same as a typical court proceeding where divorce issues are hashed out in front of a Missouri judge. To go through collaborative divorce is a much different process, and requires the right mindset in order to succeed. These mindsets include how you approach your collaborative divorce and the kind of legal representation you look for to help you in the process.

As you would in a divorce trial, you need your own attorney for collaborative divorce. However, FindLaw points out that the kind of legal representation you would need for a divorce trial is not the same that should be employed in collaborative divorce. Divorce trials are often adversarial and require attorneys to zealously advocate for their clients. However, a collaborative divorce is supposed to foster negotiation and cooperation, which necessitates attorneys who understand how to negotiate without unnecessary belligerence.

A mindset to compromise is also crucial. A take it or leave it approach will be extremely counterproductive if you bring it to a collaborative divorce process. However, this does not mean you allow yourself to be a doormat to your spouse’s desires, only that you ought to be prepared to make concessions if needed. One way to aim for a productive negotiation is to let your attorney know privately what you are willing to accept and about any firm lines you want to draw in the sand, such as how much child support you will need at a minimum.

Additionally, be mindful that you will likely be discussing your issues with other parties. Collaborative divorce can involve impartial professionals like accountants and specialists in child custody matters who will provide input into your divorce. In the event your negotiations reach an impasse, a mediator could enter into the process to offer additional guidance for your situation. Basically, be ready to talk about your disputes with a number of different people and be open to their opinions.

Disputes among divorcing Missouri couples can take many forms. For this reason, do not read this article as legal counsel for your situation. It is only intended as general information.