Going through a divorce can be hard enough without also having to worry about being there for your kids. When you’re a devoted father who is now reduced to seeing your kids far less frequently due to a custody arrangement, it can take its toll. Not being able to spend time with your kids every day can be damaging to your mental health and make you feel like you can’t do enough to be here for them. A Kansas City, KS, divorce lawyer can help you learn how to cope.
The Hardest Part of Dealing With a Divorce
Since everyone’s reasons for getting divorced are their own, no two divorce cases are ever going to be the same. Some people get divorced due to one partner’s infidelity or neglect. Other people get divorced because of financial incompatibility. Everyone’s needs in a marriage are different, so the catalyst may always be different for everyone. Additionally, some people may move on from their divorce far faster than others. Everyone’s journey is going to be different.
Divorces can get particularly complicated when there are kids involved. Sometimes, getting divorced may be the right thing to do for the sake of your kids, who may appreciate their parents’ decision to not force a broken marriage together. In the wake of a divorce, you may find yourself motivated to be extra present for your kids. You likely want to move on from the trauma of your divorce so you can show up for them. Unfortunately, many courts may automatically side with the mother.
At one time, women were favored in child custody arrangements solely because of the belief that children need their mother above all else, and the father is more of a parental accessory than a full-fledged parent. The laws have been revised to be gender-neutral, but it can still influence divorce courts at times. In addition, having to develop a parenting plan with someone who may have contested the divorce can be a drain on your mental health.
Healthy Coping Strategies
In many cases, the finality of divorce is present, regardless of whether the divorce was contested or uncontested. Ultimately, your marriage has ended, and it’s up to you to find a healthy way forward for your kids. Adjusting to a new normal while also doing what you can to be a good parent can be overwhelming without additional support. You may have to face a couple of important truths about your situation before you can begin to move forward:
- You didn’t fail. First, you need to remind yourself every day that you did not fail. Divorce does not equate to failure. Divorce means you recognized you were unhappy in your life choices and made a conscious effort to change that for yourself. With the end of your marriage may come a feeling of loss. It may feel similar to grief because, in a way, you are grieving the loss of your marriage.
Regardless of whether you feel that sense of loss or not, it never means that you failed yourself or your kids. It means you knew what had to be done to prioritize your mental and emotional health, and you did it. You strengthened your resolve.
- Do what you can to embrace your support system if you have one. It’s important to surround yourself with people who bring love and kindness into your life, especially when you are reeling from such a significant life change. You can never have too much support. Remember that your divorce doesn’t just affect you. It affects your entire social circle as well as your family. Be there for them too, and find comfort in each other.
FAQs
Q: Will My Divorce Take Long to Finalize?
A: Several factors can impact how long it might take your divorce to finalize. Every divorce case is different, and every case involves different specifics and factors that will influence the timeline. These include:
- Both partners’ willingness to compromise
- The amount in assets that need to be divided
- Any child custody agreements
Ultimately, your divorce takes as long as it needs to take. That can range anywhere from several months to a year.
Q: Do I Really Need a Lawyer for My Divorce?
A: Yes, it is highly recommended that you reach out to a lawyer to represent you during your divorce. You are well within your legal rights to represent yourself and try to handle everything on your own, but the fallout could be devastating to your case. It’s likely that your spouse is going to hire their own lawyer, and you don’t want to be caught unprepared. If your divorce is contested, you are going to want a strong legal advocate.
Q: Can I Get Divorced Without My Spouse’s Permission?
A: Yes, you can get divorced without your spouse’s permission. If you want to get divorced in Kansas, you can do so without having to prove any wrongdoing on anyone’s part, since Kansas is a no-fault divorce state. There’s a strong chance that, if you are pursuing a divorce, your spouse is against it. They can drag the divorce out and try to claim ownership of certain assets, but they can’t stop the divorce itself.
Q: What Are the Grounds for Divorce in Kansas?
A: Since Kansas is a no-fault divorce state, you don’t need grounds for divorce. If you are unhappy in your marriage and wish to end it, you can do so based solely on that. You can also pursue divorce based on certain grounds, such as incompatibility, failure to fulfill marital obligations, and mental illness.
Contact a Divorce Lawyer Today
Going through a divorce as a father can be difficult, especially if your spouse is trying to make things hard for you regarding child custody. You should consider hiring an experienced divorce lawyer to keep you from being taken advantage of. Your lawyer can also show you coping strategies to handle the process.
At Stange Law Firm, we can provide you with everything you need to see your divorce through to the end. Contact us to speak to a team member about how we can help with your case.
