By Stange Law Firm, PC on Tuesday, January 12, 2016.
One of the hardest parts of a divorce is telling your children about it. For them, this is a tragic and hard event in their lives. Kids always want to see their parents stay together and to work through it. But sometimes that’s not an option, and the breaking the news of the divorce can be extremely devastating.
In some instances of a divorce, the kids may have seen this coming if there was constant arguing and fighting. In other cases, the kids may feel as if the divorce came out of nowhere. In either instances, the effected of the divorce can be equally devastating for the kids.
There are a lot of things that parents should not say. Starting out, the parents should not say bad things about the other parent to children. Additionally, they should not make their kids feel like they should bear any guilt for the divorce. Lastly, they should never put the children in the middle of the divorce, or as the kids to take either side. All of these can have a devastating effect on the children.
So, that brings up the questions: what exactly should the parents say to the children? What’s okay and what’s not? The responses are going to vary in certain respects based on each divorce circumstance. It can also be very helpful to speak with a child psychologist and/or counselor about the appropriate things to say and not to say. This is something that should all be done before the divorce talk with your children.
But things that are universally okay to tell children is this: Tell your children that you love them. Tell your children that it isn’t their fault. Tell your children that they don’t have to choose between their parents. And, ultimately, tell your kids that it’s going to be okay.
But one thing is for certain that is always okay to tell them: Let them know how loved they are by the both of you. Tell them it isn’t their fault. Tell them there is no reason to choose a parent. And, ultimately, tell them that everything is going to be okay.